In a world that teaches us to compete, compare, while molding us into people who are often living up to who we “think” we should be… it is also creating the danger of not knowing WHO we are, WHY we are special and creating a life where we are living out our passions.

It’s a rebellion to stand in front of the world boldly, and almost rebelliously, and to love yourself.

For many of us… the thought of even trying to figure out who we are can be outright daunting. That I get.

However, one of the greatest self-reflective questions we can answer would be, “What is it costing me?” What does it cost you to live below the capacity of your potential? What does it cost you to not fully love yourself, and all that you are in this very moment? What does it cost you to do what you think you should be doing, rather than what you would love to do? What is it costing you to live behind a mask of who you REALLY are?

The beginning journey to figuring out WHO we are begins with one small step. It’s like being a child, and becoming curious again- when we are curious we search with wonder and excitement. It’s the small step of self-discovery giving us the ability to look for ourselves through the lens of childlike amazement.

It takes courage, power,  energy, and the ability to empower oneself through massive radical action and accountability to truly take a step in the direction of the unknown. To get a little bit uncomfortable, and out of one’s own self-imposed limitations and to trust the process.

Historically the unknown often posed a threat of danger, and uncharted territories… but truthfully, how then can discoveries be made. Especially the powerful self-discovery tools of wisdom, inner-power, and truth?

“The mind will believe whatever you tell it, tell it beautiful things.”

One of the most radical self-discoveries being to “Love yourself.“

The truth about this journey called life is that we will have hills and valleys. We will have challenges, losses, wins, and triumphs. However, how do we know how powerful we are unless we push our limits?

One of the greatest truths that can never be disputed is that we are born with the most powerful tools to get us through ANYTHING; our hearts, minds, and grandeur spirits. But, many of us are not checking our inner-game at the door. We are not analyzing the thoughts we have that hold us back. We don’t recognize that as simple as it is to say “love yourself,” may be… many of us are self-defeating ourselves in our minds before we even take a chance.

We are not realizing the coping habits we have created to keep us in warm little bubbles that truly inhibit our ability to grow exponentially. If only we could be braver to love ourselves enough to see this truth. If only we could value simplistic habits that could overtime swap our negative self-imposed limitations for the feelings of being unlimited.  Choosing to love yourself as an acknowledgment of who you really are, and the uniqueness YOU have to offer this world.

Here’s how to begin.

Love yourself- accept that you are amazing, unique, and bigger than you’ve been willing to acknowledge. That you were placed on this earth, at this time, for a unique purpose.

Understand that ANYTHING can be reversed, and learning is life-long and does not stop after schooling. The brain is here to serve us, and through repetition can be trained to believe whatever we wish to tell it. So like psychologist Marisa Peer always says “The mind will believe whatever you tell it, tell it beautiful things.”

Even though in the beginning affirmations like “life is easy,” or “money flows easily and abundantly to me,” can feel like a downright lie… ask yourself what lies you have fed yourself up until now?

I’ll give you a few… You probably have told yourself that you are not good enough. You probably have compared yourself to others, inadvertently shrinking yourself because you are not on “their level.” You probably have settled for a job that pays the bills, but does not overjoy your heart. You probably believe that the good life is only for the rich and famous…. You get the drift.

Now is the time to recognize your power, and to stand up for the right to be happy. Stand up for the greatness that lays dormant like a sleeping giant… oh and love yourself like it’s a rebellion.

They always said the revolution would not be televised.. That is because the true power in loving yourself, and finding yourself- is a pursuit that begins within.

What truths will you tell yourself today?

Love & Light,

Ebony M. Tutora

Have you ever taken a vacation, then arrived home to say, “I need a vacation from my vacation?” Or maybe you’ve taken some time for self-care, only to find yourself back in the proverbial hamster wheel?

What if you could learn to reduce stress, anger, and anxiety without having to take time off or slow down? This method is for you if you are looking for a lasting solution to stress. It is also for you if you simply don’t have the luxury of taking time off or slowing down because you feel that your life won’t let you.

I call it the Pressure-Free Method. By Pressure-Free, I mean that no matter what pressures, stressors or challenges come your way, you can stay free of triggering the fight-flight-or-freeze stress response. In other words, you can begin to stop over-reacting, and choose your response to any situation.

The Pressure-Free Method is three simple steps. It’s not rocket science, but you’ve got years, even generations, of habits of reactions that are causing you to trigger the stress response for so many different reasons.It helps you to reduce stress without slowing down.

Step 1.

Targets. What are you aiming for? Do you wish you could land a big promotion or grow your business? Do you want to have a more peaceful loving family life? Do you have a chronic disease that you want to get a handle on? Do you want to feel less anxious or annoyed?

My clients’ targets usually fall into three categories:

Health –

They want better mental and physical health. To be happier and feel more fulfilled. To have a strong immune system. To reduce or prevent chronic diseases like Alzheimer’s, heart disease, cancer, eczema. To slow the aging process and have healthier hair, skin, bones, and muscles. To prevent the “silent killer” from sneaking up on them.

Relationships –

They want more fulfilling relationships. To have better sex without all the anxiety. To be better parents to their children. To get along better with co-workers. To love and respect themselves and others more deeply.

Performance, both mental and physical –

To successfully achieve their goals and dreams. To reduce the fear of failure and nagging thoughts that they aren’t good enough. To have more time to experience a full life. To craft their lives and feel more in control, confident.

What is important to you? What would you like to see a shift or change in your life?

Here are some reduce stress affirmations:

1. I stay up, Pressure-Free, in my Genius Zone all day.
2. My immune system protects me day and night.
3. My love is unconditional and I receive love fully and completely.
4. My body and mind resonate at a high level so that I can share Pressure-Free with the world.

Step 2.

Triggers The things that trigger you are not causing your body, mind, relationships, and performance to deteriorate, your reactions to them are. By gaining clarity about all the possible triggers in your day, you build an awareness of them. One reason people come home from vacations exhausted is that there are hundreds of triggers when traveling. A clue is if your digestion is messed up. To discover your triggers, ask yourself what makes you feel Angry, Anxious, Annoyed or Ashamed. Or any other emotions like these. If your list is big, have no fear! Just working on a couple of triggers at a time will help you with others.

Step 3.

Tools and the Ten-Second Solution. Once you start becoming aware that a trigger is starting to cause you to feel angry, anxious, annoyed or ashamed, you have about ten seconds before the first flood of stress hormones will release from your adrenal glands. I call them a “cocktail” with adrenaline being the main hormone because you are now under the influence of these potent drugs that reduce brain function, cause chronic disease and affect every cell. Later, the second flood of hormones, glucocorticoids, releases to fix your brain cells and extremities by getting the salt, sugar and water content normal. However, glucocorticoids have a host of side-effects, including lowering your immune system up to 40%.

The key to experiencing less stress is not a vacation, yoga or meditation. Those are all great activities. But if you leave your yoga class and start complaining about the traffic on your way home, you just triggered the stress response.

The real key to less stress is to not release the stress hormones. At all. All day. Because for males, the cells require up to nine hours to dissipate the hormones out and get back to normal. For females, the cells require up to twenty-four hours!

Ask yourself this simple question: “What can I do in the first ten seconds that I start feeling angry, anxious, annoyed or ashamed to stay Pressure-Free?” The answers are your tools.

I have built over forty tools to help my clients. Here are a few to help you get started. They fall into three categories:

Body Tools –

Relax your abs. Move into a Strong Posture. Take a long, slow, belly breath to lower your heart rate.

Mind Tools –

Smile to keep dopamine flowing. Slogan – A quick affirmation or declaration that resonates with the situation. Empowering Question – A question that moves you immediately toward solution like, “How can I…?” Or “What can we…”

Life-Design Tools –

Time management tools like the 80/20 rule. Noticing your negative tendencies like complaining, meddling, blaming, shaming and struggling. Goal-setting tools that fuel your passion.

The Pressure-Free Method is simple, but you are complex. You have hundreds of subtle triggers – ways that you imitated anyone who had or has influence over you, memories of trauma or events that made you feel ashamed or awkward, the natural fears of being human. You will try to justify and rationalize your feelings, and I encourage you to just let that go if you want true change. Because you are worth it.

Wishing you a beautiful, Pressure-Free day!

My name is Elle Ingalls, High-Performance Coach for Pressure-Free Living. I came across ThinkUp over a year ago, and immediately recorded my free affirmations and started listening to my own voice encouraging me. There is something powerful about hearing our own voices declare what we want in our lives. Like many people, I fell away from listening, until just recently, my own business coach encouraged all of her clients to download the app! I already had it, and started listening again. A few months ago I invested in the paid subscription because I know that when I make an investment in me, not only do I do the work, but it up-levels me. I also am recommending ThinkUp to all of my Pressure-Free clients and followers. Thank you for a brilliant platform to help people on their journeys.

Elle Ingalls, High-Performance Coach for Pressure-Free Living

A trauma is any harmful event or circumstance that overwhelms our typical coping capacity. Traumatic experiences can include but are not limited to, sexual assault, natural disasters, human-caused accidents or disasters, severe illness or injury, a death of a loved one, race-based harassment or discrimination, and personally experiencing or witnessing community violence. Research evidence suggests that traumas caused by other people (e.g., sexual abuse, physical assault) have the most negative mental health effects, especially when perpetrated by people we know and trust [1, 2]. Unfortunately, traumatic experiences are all too common, affecting people of all ages, ability statuses, ethnicities, genders, sexual orientations, and social classes. It is estimated that 6 out of every 10 men and 5 out of 10 women will experience a traumatic event during their lifetime [2].

Although many trauma survivors experience no long-term consequences, trauma can have lasting negative effects on individuals, families, and communities. Trauma can impact every area of survivors’ lives including their self-perceptions, relationships with others, emotions, thoughts, physical health, and sense of spiritual well-being. In the aftermath of trauma, daily activities such as getting out of bed, going to work, or caring for loved ones can become challenging and burdensome. One of the biggest challenges for trauma survivors face is reconciling who they were before trauma occurred with who they are as a trauma survivor. Traumatic experiences have a way of shattering previously held assumptions such that the world can feel unsafe and people are viewed as dangerous or unpredictable. As they attempt to make sense of what happened and why, many trauma survivors struggle with feelings of self-blame and guilt. Stressful thoughts and feelings can continue for a long time after a trauma, interfering with the survivors’ overall happiness and quality of life.

To mitigate the impact of the trauma of one’s perceptions of themselves and the world around them, trauma survivors may benefit from engaging in therapy. To be maximally effective, in addition to addressing distressing mental health symptoms, therapy should explore the relational and cultural context of traumatic experiences using theory-driven and evidence-based strategies. There are also ways trauma survivors can support their healing outside of therapy.

Affirmations for trauma can be particularly effective in empowering survivors by helping them clearly articulate and acknowledge their values, strengths, and skills, and by inspiring them to engage in behaviors that reflect their values. Many survivors experience repetitive harsh self-judgments that create painful emotions and unhealthy habits. Affirmations for trauma can interrupt and challenge self-critical thoughts by placing the survivor in contact with an alternative, more encouraging thought. Affirmations for trauma can promote acceptance by helping the survivor recognize the validity of their emotions and experiences. Finally, affirmations for trauma can support self-compassion by encouraging survivors to be kind and understanding with themselves when they encounter obstacles, make mistakes, or fall short of their ideals. Affirmations are most beneficial when they are said aloud by the survivor, engaged with on a consistent basis, and individually tailored to address the trauma survivors’ unique challenges and experiences.

Here are some affirmations for trauma:

1. I am capable of transforming negative experiences into something positive.

2. I am worthy of respect and equality.

3. Everything will work out for my highest good.

4. I am opening my heart and learning to trust again.

5. I am rational, balanced and know my truth.

6. No one can take my truth away from me. I speak my truth, even if my voice shakes.

7. It’s okay to not be okay.

8. Every emotion is legitimate. I let myself be happy, sad, frustrated and hurt. This is my experience, and I am accepting it.

9. Each day, I am creating a more meaningful life.

10. I am changing in positive ways. I am making peace with my past and accepting myself.

11. I make healthy choices and choose to love myself a bit more every day.

12. My life is divinely guided.

13. I am exactly where I need to be on my journey.

14. I am safe at this moment.

15. Today, I choose to focus on the things I can control.

16. My needs and wants are just as important as anyone else’s. I trust my instincts and listen to my inner wisdom.

You can find more affirmations for trauma on ThinkUp app

This article was written by Dr. Robyn L. Gobin. Dr. Gobin is a licensed clinical psychologist, University professor, author, mindfulness instructor, and inspirational speaker with expertise in the mental health effects of sexual trauma. She is passionate about creating spaces for trauma survivors to process and heal from traumatic experiences. Dr. Gobin’s goal is to help trauma survivors live more fulfilling and meaningful lives by equipping them with the skills necessary to cope with life challenges in the aftermath of trauma.

References

1. Edwards, V. J., Freyd, J. J., Dube, S. R., Anda, R. F., & Felitti, V. J. (2012). Health outcomes by closeness of sexual abuse perpetrator: A test of betrayal trauma theory. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 21(2), 133-148.
2. Kessler, R. C., Sonnega, A., Bromet, E., Hughes, M., & Nelson, C. B. (1995). Posttraumatic stress disorder in the National Comorbidity Survey. Archives of General Psychiatry, 52(12), 1048-1060.ThinkUp app

Nurturing a healthy mental attitude is an integral part of caring for kids’ mental health no matter if mental illness affects them directly or indirectly. Helping kids develop and maintain a positive mindset is key for establishing their ability to cope with, and adapt to, changes and challenges they experience during fundamental years of growth.

To support kids’ mental health, we can highlight its challenges as learning opportunities through self-care. Self-care can boost kids’ mentalities, particularly their confidence and self-esteem, which in turn can improve their relationship with themselves as well as others.

Here are self-care tips to support kid’s mental health and help them develop a positive mindset:

Use emotional intelligence to encourage open conversations.

It’s completely possible for kids to experience bouts of poor mental health and not have a
mental illness diagnosis. But to be our kids’ biggest supporters, it’s important to talk to them about identifying and managing emotions.

To have the most effective conversations, it’s vital to make the subject matter as comfortable as possible. Do so by exploring kids’ mental health resources that are relatable and age-appropriate. Podcasts, where other kids share their own experiences with mental health, are great mediums that use empathy to help our own kids feel understood and unashamed, thus developing the courage to talk about their feelings.

As adults, it’s important to remember that we’ve been there before! Our kids don’t have all of our life experiences yet, so take this opportunity to guide them and not alienate them.

Manifest resilience through problem-solving.

Once kids are comfortable identifying their thoughts and emotions, they will begin to search for ways to manage them. After all, feelings are messages telling us action is needed.

To guide our kids’ mental health even further, we can offer support by equipping them with the skills to develop their own problem-solving capabilities. For instance, if kids are anxious about a situation, ask “how” questions such as, “how would [someone they trust or look up to] handle this?” When adapting to difficult situations, kids who are empowered to find solutions become resilient and in turn build a better sense of confidence. Problem-solving can also be a great team building opportunity; whether it’s child and parent, child and sibling, or child and friend.

Find opportunities to work through things together and make it a memorable experience.

Recognize the importance of self-love.

When kids are secure with themselves, they accept themselves and others for who they truly are, which helps combat the stigma of “being less than” that is commonly associated with kids’ mental health. To instill self-acceptance, help kids discover and value their own unique traits. Encourage them to make a list of things they are strong at, like drawing, dancing, reading, or even a favorite school subject. To dig deeper, empower kids to identify positive traits they like about themselves, such as being a caring friend or making other people laugh.

But don’t forget to teach children to embrace the things about themselves that they cannot change. Let’s face it, being a kid is hard. It can often be a confusing time of trying to figure yourself out and establishing your self-worth. So be patient and be sure to be there to help your kids every step of the way!

Check out more positive parenting tips can empower kids to take their challenges with ease.

Living in a welcoming environment has many benefits to your physical and mental health. Your home should be your sanctuary, your place of peace and relaxation. As such, your home and what is in it influence your state of being much more than you may realize.

Redecorating your home and transforming it into a place that you love and that resonates well with you is an essential component for a fulfilling life filled with joy and happiness.

In addition, there should be a designated area in your home for relaxation and quiet. By living in a home you love, you continuously evoke positive emotions that increase your mental and physical wellbeing.

Here are several tips for positive restyling your home into a space you will love, and how to create the designated relaxation area.

Use of colors that make you happy help to create a more pleasant atmosphere.

Living in a home decorated with darker colors or colors that you do not love can negatively
influence your thoughts and emotions.

Therefore, by choosing colors that you love, you can make your home a more inviting and comfortable space for yourself. Choosing a calming color palette for your interior spaces will help you de-stress and relax.

Decorate your walls with pictures or paintings that evoke positive emotions.

Pictures or paintings that depict sad/depressing images, darker colors, and/or are associated with bad memories evoke negative emotions and in the long run, decrease your level of happiness.

Therefore, if you have such a picture or painting displayed, replace it. It is not worth
keeping if it costs you your happiness. Instead, hang pictures or paintings that make you feel good or are associated with positive memories to decorate your home.

Have candles and aromatic oils in your home.

Use of candles and aromatic oils can create a relaxing and romantic environment.By using them throughout the home and making a habit of having candles lit during evening or
weekends, for example, you can easily turn your home into a place of relaxation and quiet.
Playing relaxing music in your home adds to the peaceful environment.

Music has the ability to calm and relax you.

Whenever you have had a long day at work, or come home stressed, playing relaxing music can add to the peaceful, relaxing environment of your home and calm you down from whatever happened that day. Even if you do not come home in a stressful state, playing relaxing music helps maintain a pleasant atmosphere.

Having a designated area for relaxation.

Having a designated area for relaxation helps create an environment that serves as a mini sanctuary and that the brain associates as a positive one. It can bring you greater calmness. Even if it is a small area in your living room, as long as it is designated for this purpose it will achieve the goal of creating a unique space just for relaxation. To make the space even more peaceful, add in functional living room furniture items, like storage ottomans, to help keep your cozy throws, pillows, and other relaxing necessities organized.

Summary

To sum it up, as CEO of ThinkUp, an app that helps people change their thoughts to positive ones and achieve their goals, I know that people’s surroundings greatly impact how they think and behave. Therefore, choosing colors that make you happy, having uplifting paintings on the wall, lighting candles, and playing relaxing music all contribute to creating a more welcoming and pleasant home that you can relax in.

Children copy you, they observe your attitudes and behavior keenly, so make sure you talk positive and do positive, especially when they are around. Small kids, in particular, tend to imitate your every behavior and it is your duty as a parent to instill good thoughts and build good character in them. Go for positive parenting!

Your child looks up to you for support. You should motivate him when you identify his uniqueness, his strengths. Do not try to push your child into what every other child does, let your child live his life and enjoy every bit of it.

Your child is your life, your world. Make him understand that.

Here are tips to empower your child:

• Lead by example

You are the best example for your child. One of the best ways of positive parenting is to engage yourself with positive thoughts and people. Your child observes this and will follow suit as years roll by. You need to teach your child by example that staying away from negative activities and people would help in realizing his potential to the maximum.

• Tell your child that his uniqueness is his strength

Everyone is unique. You need to make your child understand and believe, from a very young age, that his uniqueness is his strength and he needs to focus on it to be successful. encourage him to look for his uniqueness.

Find your own uniqueness and lead him by example.

• Tell your child that it is okay to be different

Everyone is different. Do not compare your child with other kids. Ask him not to imitate others, encourage him to shine with his abilities. Positive parenting involves letting your child live his life the way he wants to and in a way that right for him.

• Teach your child to love himself

As a parent, it is your responsibility to make your child look at life in a positive stride. Your child needs to enjoy every moment of his life, so ask him to find his passion and follow it. Your child can be happy only if he is allowed to do what he wants to. If he loves art, let him become an artist or if music is what interests him, encourage him to take up music as his main course.

• Tell your child that you are grateful to have him

It is of utmost importance that you make your child understand that he matters the most to you in this world. You may scream or get annoyed with him at times, but make it clear to your child that you are very happy that he is part of your life and you love him unconditionally.

• Ask your child to collaborate, not compete

It is NOT necessary to compete in life, to succeed. You are burdening your child if you ask him to compete at every stage in his life. Ask your child to collaborate instead. Give him the freedom, encourage him to utilize his uniqueness to shine. For positive parenting, you need to look at your child as a unique human being capable of succeeding in life through collaboration.

• Give your child his space

Do not try to be perfect in everything, remember he is your child, not a machine. If your kid is stressed out for the day, let him relax. Trust him that he will learn the right way for him. Allow him to listen to some music or engage in activities that interest him. Let him play or spend some time with his friends or in the nurture. Do not stick to the daily routine all the time, be flexible.

• Understand and respect your child

You need to be a good parent first, only then you can expect your child to be good and honest to you. Talk to your child with interest and patience, understand his needs and interests. Look at the world from his eyes. Try not to force him into anything. Respect his desires and you will enjoy the benefits of positive parenting and happy child. I don’t say to neglect or to let him do what he wants all the time. I just say try to look at him from his eyes!

• Trust your child

Trust is an important aspect of positive parenting. Make it clear to your child that you trust him. Trust builds a sense of loyalty and can go a long way in building your child’s character. You trust him and he will be honest; if you do not, your child will more likely grow up to be insecure.

Positive parenting can empower your child to take on life’s challenges with ease!

Motivation makes things happen; however, staying motivated isn’t always easy. Some days we have it; some days we don’t. That said, I have five motivational tips to keep you going even when challenges arise.

5 Motivational Tips to Become (and Stay) Motivated

1. Set High, Yet Realistic Goals

Setting goals gives you direction, focus, and guides you to make decisions towards achieving what you want; however, setting unrealistically high goals will set you up for failure and demoralize you.

By contrast, clearly defined and attainable goals are easier to focus on and make it easier for you to measure your progress as well as achievements.

2. Choose Goals That Reflect Your Passion

Before you can achieve anything in life, you have to be clear on what you want. You have to
decide what is important to you and affirm that it is worth accomplishing.

Also, if you’re really passionate about living out your purpose, you’ll be more likely to commit and stay committed. So, focus on what you really want, and it will make experience and journey more
rewarding.

3. Get an Accountability Partner

An accountability partner will help you identify what you want to accomplish, map out your progress, and make sure you stay on track.

You’ll find that by having an accountability partner, you’ll be more likely to stay committed and less likely to use excuses, which will create a shift in your mindset.

4. Break Down Your Goals

Start with goals in “doable components,” prioritizing easier tasks and working your way up to bigger and more challenging tasks later.

Divide your goals into various sub-goals to make it easier for you to stay focused on what you want to achieve both in the long-term and short-term. Breaking up a task into achievable chunks also allows you to celebrate small victories which builds confidence.

5. Use Positive Affirmations

Science has proven that positive affirmations and motivational self-talk can change our
thinking patterns.

Positive self affirmations strengthen us by helping us believe in our potential and push us to take action on those things we want to create. Affirming our dreams and ambitions empowers us with a deep sense of reassurance that our intentions will become a reality.

Need More Motivational Tips to Stay Motivated?

Here’s another one:

Try the free ThinkUp app, the positive thinking app, to develop a positive mindset to help you achieve your goals, overcome challenges, and build healthy habits. You can also buy the ThinkUp Gift Premium version and give the gift of positive change to someone you love.

Remember: “We only get what we believe we deserve. Raise the bar, raise your standards and you will receive a better outcome.”

-Joel Brown
Founder
Addicted2success.com

You got this!